


Once In The Lifetime (I Wish) You Were Mine

by hedmarryhim



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Angst, But Harry loves someone else, Death, I'm Sorry, Kinda based on a true story, M/M, Ordinary!Louis, Popular!Harry, Regret, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, louis loves harry, popular!niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:26:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2701187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedmarryhim/pseuds/hedmarryhim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“…I can’t stay. But I love him. I really love him…”</p><p>Louis falls in love with someone that falls in love with his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once In The Lifetime (I Wish) You Were Mine

Louis’ heart starts to beat like maniac and he can even feel his own pulse on his fingertips. His heart is dancing loudly like it wants to break his own ribs and lungs. His face is pale at the shades of blue but there are sparks everywhere and he couldn’t help but feel the hope that always rising inside of him. There’s a lot of rumors about the boy in his dreams, or the boy he likes since 3 years ago, that he finally falls in love with someone. Harry is his name and he’s perfect. Such a popular sweetheart, really kind and friendly and he’s openly gay. But he doesn’t want to get a boyfriend until it starts ringing in Louis’ ears when he knows that Harry is finally falling in love with a human being except from his black kitten, Night. People think that Harry loves his kitten more than anything in this world, because he always carries his kitten everywhere, keep it inside his locker with food and blankets. He’s a total sweetheart and that makes Louis fall in love with him even more. The blue eyed guy always smiles at the thought of that perfect boy.

 

And Louis isn’t only crushing from the far, but he talks a lot with Harry and somehow there’s a hope to think that Harry might like him back. Everyone thinks about that too, that maybe Harry likes Louis because they are really good friends or maybe more than just friends.

 

“… You know, I heard that Harry likes someone!” Louis says to Niall, panting with his own breaths.

 

But Niall just stays quite. “That’s great!”

 

“Well I’m sorry, I know that you are boring because I always talk about Harry.” Louis pouts, making Niall smiles a little and pushes Louis’ shoulder jokingly.

 

“No it’s not boring it’s just-“

 

“But Niall, he’s so perfect and we talk a lot Niall! He always tells me that my writings are great. I’m so happy. He likes to write Niall! Isn’t he so lovely? I heard that he likes someone with blue eyes! I have blue eyes! What if he likes me back? No, I’m just joking that won’t happen anyway. I’m just, I can dream right Niall?” Louis says cheerfully.

 

Until Niall stops walking, and his face is really pale like he’s been hiding something from Louis and the blue eyed boy could feel it and he knows that this won’t end up well.

 

“Lou- I have something to tell you.” Niall says brokenly.

 

“You can tell me everything. Best friends for life remember?” Louis tries so hard to brighten up this situation but he knows this is useless.

 

“I’m not trying to stab you from the back or what, but Harry…”

 

“W-what’s wrong with Harry, Ni?” Louis’ heart is starting to break.

 

“I’m sorry. But he likes me Louis.”

 

And it suddenly feels like hell.

 

Louis closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

 

“Louis, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that everything would end up like this. I’m not even talking to him until he confessed his feelings toward me yesterday.” Niall starts sobbing in front of him.

 

It hurts a lot. Really hurts. And somehow Louis feels like dying but it is what it is. He couldn’t change anything. Or pushes Harry to like him back.

 

“It’s okay.” Louis smiles to Niall and shows his best to hold back his tears. It feels like storming inside his heart and he could feel that he’s bleeding in the inside.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I don’t want to lose you. Please. Louis, I’m so sorry.” Niall hugs Louis tightly, and Louis couldn’t help it anymore as he starts to sob, with a shaking body.

 

“It’s okay Niall. You are just being yourself. It’s not your fault. Don’t be sorry. I’m so happy actually. I couldn’t have him, but he has you and I know you are going to make him happy. And I couldn’t thank enough for that. Thank you Niall.” Louis knows that he’s happy for his best friend, he’s happy for Harry.

 

“You are so perfect Louis. Why you are so selfless about yourself?” Niall keeps hugging Louis.

 

Tears racing down from his blue eyes, and he bit his lips to hold back his scream of pain. “I’m far from perfect. Never perfect. Never good enough.” Cries Louis.

 

“No! You are perfect. You are good enough. You are worth it. Don’t you ever dare to say that again Louis. I love you so much. I’m sorry. I don’t want this to change us.”

 

“It’s okay Niall. I won’t leave you. Because you are my best friend and I won’t let a boy to ruin this friendship for 18 years. I will be fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll try to move on. It’s my fault for believing of something that would never happen to me. Because I know, that good things like him won’t happen to people like me.”

***

 

Louis sits alone as he enjoys the lake in front of him. Trying to learn how to breathe again. He hears footsteps from the far but he doesn’t care anything at the moment. He just listens to sad love songs from his iPod. But now, without tears and that’s great so far. He’s so proud of himself.

 

“Lou?” Harry sits carefully beside Louis that he’s scared that Louis might break right in the moment.

 

Louis turns to the green eyes that he loves the most. He wants to cry but instead, he smiles lightly and nods to him. He’s stronger than this.

 

“Lou, I want to say something to you.” Harry says softly.

 

“Wait, congratulations Harry! You finally like someone! Yes!” Louis cheers loudly, making Harry laughs. And he wants to hear it forever, but he doesn’t belong to him. He’s someone else’s.

 

“You’re always trying to make happy, aren’t you Louis?”

_I just want you to be happy._ “Everyone deserves to be happy Harold.” Louis turns to the lake again as his smiles starting to fade.

 

“I know that you have feelings for me. Fuck, I don’t how to say this, but I don’t want to lose you. I want us to stay as friends. Please Lou. I know this is my fault, but I’m scared that things between you and Niall will be different.”

 

Louis has tears flowing from his eyes, falling to his cheeks. But he smiles to the lake in front of him. Harry has tears as well on his face. Louis wipes the tears and takes a deep breath.

 

“You will always be my friend, H. Never forget that. It’s not your fault Harry. Actually, I’m so proud of you. You told me that time, you don’t want to fall in love. But now, you are with Niall. And I’m so happy for you. Really happy. He’s perfect. Don’t let him to feel low. He’s amazing Harry. Don’t ruin it from him.” Louis promises.

 

“You aren’t even thinking about yourself Lou.” Harry cries.

 

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. As long as you are happy, I’ll be happy.” He smiles widely to the green eyed guy with watery eyes. Even though he’s smiling, Harry could still see that he’s dying.

 

“Can we still talk like we used to?” Harry’s voice shakes. But Louis doesn’t turn to him, he just stays there watching the lake.

 

“Of course we can but I’m sorry H.” Louis whispers, without looking at Harry.

 

“Louis-“

 

“I need time.” Louis says honestly and he just wants to runaway from here. Never looking back, never looking Harry anymore. But he is stronger than this. He’s so much stronger than this.

 

“I’m sorry Louis. I-“

 

“I just want you to let me go. For a while.” Louis smiles sadly, trying to take a deep breath.

 

“What- you told me we are still friends. I can’t do that. I don’t want to loose you!”

 

“I won’t leave forever. I’ll be a coward if I left and never come back. I just need you to respect my feelings Harry. But I’ll be fine. I’ll come back I promise.” Louis hugs him for the last time and he tucks his curly locks that falling into his face.

 

“I love you.” Louis whispers softly and closes his eyes. As the tears slip out from his eyes.

 

Harry doesn’t say anything.

 

Louis stands up and leaves without another word. Leaving Harry there with an aching heart. But Louis knows, he will be fine. Niall will make him happy.

 

 

***

 

Until the next day, Louis never comes home.

 

And Harry realizes he falls in love to the wrong person.

 

He runs to the hospital

 

After he hears Niall sobbing on the phone.

 

Harry holds Louis’ cold hands,

 

And kisses Louis’ blue lips.

 

But those blue eyes never waking up.

 

He says _I love you_ for the last time.

 

***

 

_I don’t want to feel this anymore. And I’m sorry for trying to avoid him. I can’t stand meeting him or seeing him. Don’t pretend that we are all alright. We will never be normal again. I’m losing everything. I gave you everything but I’m still not good enough. I’m not mad at him. I know that I’m not good enough for him but there’s a reason behind this. There’s a reason why I have dried tears on my cheeks and an ache in my heart. But I can’t stay. I hope he will remember that I can’t pretend or act like there’s nothing wrong. I felt like everything is wrong. I rather not do anything. I rather close my heart, my love, for everyone because no one wants it. After all I’m still not good enough. He’s pretty and I’m only me. But it’s okay because if I was him, I wouldn’t love myself either. I’m far from the ‘pretty’. But he makes me want to cry that nobody will ever love me. I’m moving on. But I’m so lonely and I just want to feel adored. I want to feel wanted. I always feel unwanted. This proves to me that I’ll never be adored. I never feel beloved with another boy. I never feel that way. Because nobody wants me and I just want to feel adored. After all, I don’t want to imagine. It’s not going to make a good story just heartbreak, insecurity, and cries. But I’m stronger than this I’m learning how I forgive. But I hate this thought, he’s all blooming like the flowers, I know that he’s going to be his. I want to cry because I feel like there are a lot of knives stabbing in my heart. I know that good things like him won’t happen to me._

_But I love him, I really love him._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Once In A Lifetime, and my old memories about 'him' starting to come back again. This once happened in my life (not the death part). I was in love with a guy that now becoming my best friend's boyfriend. It hurt like hell, but we gotta move on right? 
> 
> I apologize for my terrible english. I'm still learning to write down my best. Thank you for reading this! Hope you have a great day lovelies xx


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